Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
