It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize