ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
