we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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