I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
