Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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