Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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