I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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