Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I lost the right to judge tonight
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
