after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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