OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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