so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
