What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
