dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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