I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
it's like heaven, but drunker
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
