Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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