Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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