He is an equal opportunity slut.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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