In the future we'll all be gay
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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