I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
