i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
