i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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