just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You're completely useless in the revolution.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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