Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
