I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
