That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Text me some of your sweat
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
