Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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