No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
