I love black thongs
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
