Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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