Welp...herpes.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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