just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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