Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
only you would photoshop your dick
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
