No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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