One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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