OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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