Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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