Jerry, you need to find god
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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