Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
