So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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