No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
