i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
