There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
