and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
