WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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