Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
