i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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