If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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