I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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