You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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