my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize