i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
