check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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