What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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