the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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