if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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