Where is the hickey?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
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