Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
