i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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