Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
