apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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