Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
