I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
