So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
