I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
